Will The Real Angela Please Stand Up....
Angela was born January 20,1966. She was raised by her grandmother while her young mother continued her education & worked at The N.Y. Telephone Co. Angela was shy & inverted. She lived a sheltered life, full of rules and strict discipline. She was brought up in the church being that her grandfather was a reverend. Though her grandparents loved her, spoiled her and raised her well meeting all of her needs and making sure she needed for nothing, she was longing for her mother's a love, that only a mother could show their child.
Maybe it was because of how I was conceived. From what I was told, I'm a product of a bet, and dare made by my father's friends. My mother went on to marry someone else & have three other daughters. During this time, I was lied to by mother saying that my father died when I was a baby. Come to find out he died when I ten years of age. She took any opportunity of me getting to know my father.
This unselfish decision from her caused me to have a strong dislike towards my mother. Angela has always felt like the outsider, the "black sheep" & she wanted nothing more but to be loved by her mother. My grandparents compensated the best they could but it wasn't enough, Angela needed love.
At age 13, I became very rebellious and my grandparents said it was time for me to live with my mother & her new family.
So, I did and that lasted all of three years. We butted heads. She took my stepfathers side over mine with every situation and then when I became pregnant at 16yrs old he told my mother I had to go I had to leave their home. I've slept on roof tops, trains, friend’s homes. I've been molested & not believed. I've attempted suicide a couple of times. I've seen hard times. This whole while Angela kept looking for love.
She's been in relationships since age 14, nearly 3/4 of her life. Not allowing herself to know who Angela really is. Angela didn't love herself. She had no self-esteem and no confidence. She's been used, abused and pushed to limits you wouldn't believe. She was both mother & father to her FIVE sons and for her and them she had to begin her soul searching.
Angela went back to her church upbringing. She went to her grandparents and asked what to do? My grandfather prayed with me and over me. I then went to God and asked him to guide me, lead me and give me the strength to leap out on faith, to let go of all that was holding me back.
I did let go, I let go of the toxic relationships, people who didn't have my best interest at heart, the anger I had towards my mother and any other things I was harboring that I knew were keeping me from becoming a better Angela. By letting go I was able to breathe again. Thank you, Jesus,!!!!!!!
Once afraid, to stand tall, the real Angela is now standing with her head up, no longer looking down. She walks with her head held high. She walks into a room with CONFIDENCE that does the speaking for her. Her struggles, experiences, her faith and her belief in God has made her a strong woman and has brought her through many storms. The real Angela has come out of her shell. ANGELA is now a force to be reckoned with. She's new and improved and the real Angela has stood up and is STANDING UP!!!.
She is me & I love her.