When you feel alone


Loneliness can be the most depressing part of a persons day and at this time of year it can ultimately be the worst. Some are even considering hurting themselves because of the depressed state they are in. I ask have you thought about the people that care for you?, that would be willing to listen when you do feel this way. Depression can take over your mind can sometimes put thoughts in your head to do harm to yourself and end it all, all because you think that no one would understand your issue or dilemma.

I can remember years ago I used to feel so alone even though I was achieving and believing I would attend church every Sunday, was a member on the choir and usher board. But did not feel as if I was accepted by my church home, I felt as though I was just dealt with, they say your safe place should be the house of the Lord, well nope I didn't have that. Don't get me wrong beautiful relationship with my leader and his family but that was as far as it went.

Struggling with raising my children whom I had attending church with me also, I  took it upon myself to seek medical attention and to see what was really going on with me. Not to many African American women would do that, After speaking with the doctor he for some reason saw fit to write a prescription... this left me puzzled because I did not feel physical pain I felt pain in my mind in my heart, so what would a pill do to help and heal that. Leaving the doctors office I called my pastor and he told me to meet him at church the following day, doing so I had yet told him that I prescribed something. We prayed we sat we talked I cried he listened, and then I told him that I had been to see a doctor to talk to, also in revealing that information to him he asked what was the doctors suggestion, I reached into my bag pulled out the prescription and set it upon his desk. Shock came over his face he placed the paper back in front of me and asked what am I going to do with it? looking at him through my tears I could see the hurt and the distain on his face, I grabbed the paper crumbled it up and tossed it into the garbage. Lifting our hands in praise I knew at that moment that I would be ok. This was one form of my loneliness, what is one of yours? 

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